I doubted that I would ever achieve that level of understanding, but I tried. One evening, as I was eating with Dutiful and Chade in their tent, I tried extending my Wit to include Chade. I let go of my own hunger and aching back and anxiety about my lost Skill and focused myself on the old man. I saw him as clearly as if he were prey. I studied how he sat, his back straight, as if he were too stiff to even slump, and how he kept his gloves on while he spooned up the pallid mush that was our evening repast. His face was a study in contrasts, red nose and cheeks, while his forehead was pale with the cold. Then, as if I suddenly saw his shadow for the first time, I glimpsed an aloneness that trailed back behind him to his earliest years. I suddenly felt his years and the strangeness of a fate that had sent him, in his old age, to camp on a glacier alongside the boy he would make king.
‘What?’ he demanded suddenly of me, and I startled, realizing that I’d been staring at him.
I scrabbled for an answer and then replied, ‘I was just thinking of all the years and times when I’ve sat across from you, and wondered if I’d ever truly seen you at all.’
His eyes widened, almost as if he feared such a thought. Then he scowled and said, ‘And I’d hoped you had something useful in your mind. Well, this is what I’ve been pondering. Riddle and Hest haven’t returned with the supplies. They should have been back by now. Today, I asked Web if his bird could seek for them. He said it was difficult to convey to her that we wanted news of two specific men, rather as if I asked you if you had seen two specific gulls. He asked her to look for two men with a sled; he said she did not see them.’ Chade shook his head. ‘I fear the worst. We need to send someone back, not just to look for Riddle and Hest, but also to bring back the supplies we need. Longwick told me tonight we have food for four more days, five if he cuts the rations again.’ He rubbed his gloved hands together wearily. ‘I never thought it would take this long to dig out the dragon. All the reports we had seemed to say he was near the surface, even visible years ago. Yet we dig and dig and find nothing.’
‘He’s there,’ the Prince assured him. ‘And every day we get closer.’
Chade snorted. ‘And if I took one step southward every day, I’d be getting closer to Buckkeep, but no one could tell me how long it would take me to get there.’ With a groan he got up. Sitting on the cold earth, even with several layers of bedding beneath him, was obviously uncomfortable. He moved slowly around the cramped tent, cautiously stretching his legs and back. ‘Tomorrow, I’m sending Fitz to see what became of Riddle and Hest. And I want you to take Thick and the Fool with you.’
‘Thick and the Fool? Why?’
It was obvious to him. ‘Who else can I spare from the digging? Removing Thick from the dragon’s vicinity may restore him. If it does, then leave him with Churry and Drub on the beach with our supplies. Have him Skill to us from there whatever news he has.’
‘But why the Fool?’
‘Because it takes two men to pull the sled when it’s loaded, and I don’t think Thick will be of much use to you at that. I suspect you’ll have to put Thick on the sled to get him to move from here. And you are one of the few people who can manage Thick at all, so you have to be one of the ones who goes. Fitz, I know it’s not an assignment you would choose, but who else can I send?’
I cocked my head at him. ‘Then you aren’t just trying to send the Fool and me away from the digging area before the dragon is uncovered?’
He sighed. ‘If I sent you and not the Fool, you would ask if I were trying to separate you. If I sent the Fool and not you, I’m sure you’d say the same. I suppose I could ask Web to take Thick and another man for this errand, but he does not understand Thick’s Skill-ability. And if something has befallen Riddle and Hest, well, I think you more capable of dealing with a threat than …’ He suddenly threw up his hands and said in defeat, ‘Do what you will, Fitz. You will anyway, and the Fool will only go if you ask him. I’ve no power to send him anywhere. So you decide.’
I felt a bit sheepish. Perhaps I had been looking for motivations that truly didn’t exist. ‘I’ll go. And I’ll ask the Fool to go with me. To be honest, I’ll welcome the change from digging. Make a list of what you want brought back.’ Privately, I resolved that I’d scavenge any driftwood I could find on the beach and bring it back with me, regardless of how much weight it added to the load. Chade could do with a good roaring blaze, I decided, even if it only lasted one night.
‘Be ready at first light, then,’ Chade advised me.
The Fool was not as pleased to leave the digging as I was. ‘But what if they reach the dragon while we are gone? What if I am not here to defend him?’
‘The Hetgurd guardians and the Witted coterie oppose killing him as much as you do. Don’t you think they’ll be enough?’
We were bedded down together, sleeping back to back for the body warmth just as we had in the Mountains so many years ago. Truth to tell, I gained little from it, for the Fool’s body had always felt cool to the touch. It was rather like sleeping alongside a lizard, I thought. Yet if he did not give off much warmth, the solid feel of his back against mine was a reassurance of camaraderie that I had not felt since Nighteyes had died. There is security in knowing that a friend has your back, even if he is sound asleep.
‘I don’t know. I’m too close to where all my visions stopped.’ He paused, as if he expected me to ask a question, but that was a topic I did not wish to explore. Then, ‘Do you think we ought to go?’ he asked cautiously.
I shifted in the bed, groaning as my aching muscles complained. ‘I don’t think I thought much about it. Chade has been telling me what to do for so long that I simply accepted I should go. But I would like to know what has happened to Riddle and Hest. And I’d like to see if Thick recovers himself when he’s moved away from the dragon’s influence. And –’ I shifted and groaned again, ‘I wouldn’t mind a few days of doing anything other than shovelling.’
He was quiet. I was too, pondering his silence. I wondered what was making him take so long to make up his mind. Then I laughed aloud. ‘Ah, yes. I nearly forgot. I am the Catalyst, the one who makes changes. And this would be a change in what you think you should do. So, you cannot decide whether to oppose it or not.’
The silence stretched so long I thought he had fallen asleep. The day had been the warmest we had had so far, making sodden work of our task. I listened to the wind, and hoped the night’s cold would crust the surface of the glacier and keep the wind from blowing snow into our excavation. I had almost dropped off to sleep myself when he said, ‘You frighten me, sometimes, when you give voice to my thoughts. We will go, tomorrow. We’ll take this tent for shelter, shall we?’